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Profile
Mia Von Schöneberg is an exile, a socialite, and a minister heading a government department—the very name of which reveals that Neu Berlin long ago ceased to feel any shame regarding sensible administrative structures. Following the theft of the nobility’s crown, she was banished for life to Neu Berlin, where she took charge of the Ministry of Chive Reform. Her rooftop raves are considered mandatory social engagements for anyone who is important, wishes to appear important, or at the very least owns a peacock.
Peacocks
Her particular weakness for peacocks is well known. Under normal circumstances, this would merely be an eccentric preference; however, in Neu Berlin, status symbols are treated with the same gravity that other places reserve for basic food staples. A full-grown peacock can compel people to abandon perfectly rational choices in favor of a bird that mostly just stands around, looking as though evolution had completely forgotten the concept of “a little bit less.”
Mia does not explicitly deny this—which, in her case, usually implies that the truth is either incredibly dull or extremely expensive.> [!quote]
“Solo and I exchange nothing but cultural goods. What exactly constitutes ‘culture’ is something we decide only after the delivery arrives.”
Peacock Ring
During the clan wars of New Berlin, she acts as a mediator; she understands the interests of the individual clans, is well-versed in their vanities, and—most importantly—knows exactly which truths can be revealed to whom, and in what order.
Her diplomacy works precisely because everyone assumes that Mia manipulates others just as much as they themselves do. In New Berlin, this is considered a remarkable form of fairness.
She has a knack for quickly identifying who in a room actually holds the influence—which is rarely the person sitting at the head of the table. Mia observes who gets interrupted, who must never be interrupted, who pours drinks for whom, and whose jokes elicit laughter that arrives half a second too late from everyone else.
From these observations, she constructs her strategy.
Quote
“Every group has a leader. Usually, it’s the person who doesn’t even know it.”
When it comes to the nautical and navigational challenges of this high-stakes expedition, her skills are far less spectacular. Tasks like cranking winches, hauling ropes, operating pumps—anything that might leave a garment dirtier than is politically expedient—are, in her view, “specialized duties” best left to others.
She has an impressive repertoire of justifications for this.
Mia at work
While hauling the anchor: “I’d love to help, really—but a hierarchy only functions if not everyone is doing the same thing.”
While setting the sails: “My hands are diplomatically accredited.” >
While scrubbing the deck: “Cleanliness is a state. Leadership is a process.”While carrying heavy crates: “I’m shouldering responsibility. That’s heavy enough as it is.”
After watching for five minutes: “Wonderful. You’ve clearly found a solution.”
Her true talent emerges whenever groups threaten to fall apart. Mia recognizes wounded pride almost instinctively. She can defuse an argument by validating one person’s position, making a second person feel as though they’ve won, and later explaining to a third person that it was all their idea to begin with.
The result is that everyone starts working together again—and no one knows why.
The Stolen Crown
In the year 2114, she pulled off a clandestine operation to steal the nobility’s crown. The exact sequence of events remains unclear, as everyone involved subsequently either stayed silent, lied, or claimed they couldn’t remember—which, at court, amounts to roughly the same thing in terms of evidence. What is certain is that Mia later gifted the crown to the mysterious Lord Relax a Lot and, in the process, established The Trust Fund.
The Socialite
Upon her arrival in New Berlin, she promptly took charge of Schöneberg—a district that, at the time, existed more as an organizational hypothesis than a reality. Her “roof raves” across the district’s rooftops proved highly effective in fostering the emergence of a new cosmopolitan class. Within a few years, a clique had formed around these raves—a group whose members possessed a particularly convincing way of holding a glass.
From this milieu, a new elite evolved—though Mia publicly rejects the term “elite,” preferring instead to call them “people with options.”
Quote
“You can recognize an elite by the fact that they claim not to be one.”
Rumors
Rumors that Mia might still be working for the Crown never entirely fade away. In fact, she speaks quite frequently—and pointedly—about the moral depravity of the old aristocracy. Conversely, she speaks remarkably rarely about her own childhood.
Whenever a conversation veers in that direction, Mia executes a rhetorical maneuver that has come to be known in Schöneberg as “the Von-Swerve”: she answers a different, more interesting question—doing so with such elegance that no one even notices the original question remains unaddressed.
Quote
“My childhood? Oh, please. We’re currently discussing your decisions.”
Tracked and Persecuted
The nobility’s tribunal sentenced Mia to lifelong exile in New Berlin. A tracking device on her ankle has monitored her real-time location ever since; should she cross the designated boundaries, the Sentinel 7 units are alerted.
Mia refers to the device as “jewelry with an administrative inferiority complex.”
On Fibo’s Spiral
Fibo intrigues Mia because his ability to communicate with the “Meta” is unusual, even by her standards. She realizes early on that his technical prowess is rooted in a form of perception that cannot be reduced to mere machinery, and she encourages him to delve deeper into the subject.
Consequently, their conversations often begin with philosophy, mathematics, or the structure of reality—and almost always end up revolving around Mia.
Fibo is too polite to do anything about it.
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Fibo: “Didn’t we want to talk about recursive perception?”
Mia: “Of course. That reminds me of a story about me.”
Mia values Fibo’s intelligence precisely because he rarely tries to show it off. She considers modesty an admirable trait—especially in other people.
Social Rule of Thumb
Whenever Mia von Schöneberg begins a sentence with the phrase “Just between us,” there are at least twelve people within a three-meter radius who will go on to repeat it to others.
Beatrix Von Burg
Her fear that her sister, Beatrix Von Burg, is—alongside Admiral 7—continuing to advance the interests of the nobility in the heavens is one of the primary reasons she joined the Ascension Command. Mia often describes Beatrix as “a woman of impeccable taste, yet one who draws appallingly incorrect conclusions.”
Of Course!
Mia is known for being exceptionally well-connected. Whether her title, “Von Schöneberg,” actually stems from hereditary claims or was something she decided upon herself at some point remains unclear. She always responds to inquiries in such a way that the person asking ends up feeling ashamed for having asked in the first place.
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“Of course the ‘Von’ is genuine. The more interesting question would be whether the nobility itself is genuine.”
Personality
Mia hails from the old nobility and possesses impeccable manners—a trait that grants her the rare ability to insult someone profoundly without the person in question ever realizing they have been insulted.
She takes the social rituals of her lineage seriously enough to have mastered them perfectly, yet treats them with enough levity to mock them. To her, a reception is simultaneously a stage, a battlefield, and an opportunity to drink champagne for free. Her speech is peppered with bon mots—witticisms that would look perfectly at home printed on postcards:
Some of Mia’s Bon Mots
On wealth: “Money doesn’t buy happiness. It just makes unhappiness significantly more photogenic.”
On nobility: “Tradition is what remains when no one remembers why it was started in the first place.”
On power: “You know you have power when, suddenly, everyone claims they’ve always liked you.”
On Neu Berlin: “The city didn’t sink. It simply lowered its priorities.”
On bad parties: “There were plenty of interesting people there. Unfortunately, not all at the same time.”
On morality: “I’m very much in favor of principles. One should always have a few on hand—so that, if necessary, one can sacrifice one.”
Mia moves with great control, and she speaks with even more. Her authority rarely feels forced; rather, it possesses that unsettling, natural quality that leads people—within just five minutes—to voluntarily offer her the better chair, only to wonder why they did so long after the fact.
If you ask her about her hobby, she often mentions paragliding—with such consistency that one might actually be inclined to believe it. She supposedly designed her own paraglider. This may well be the only area of her life where she readily admits to not being carried by anyone else.
Relationships
Kokolores
Koko has an obvious crush on Mia. Mia, naturally, is well aware of this; it would go against everything she’s been trained for not to notice something like that within the first thirty seconds.
She enjoys Koko’s admiration. A peculiar form of mutual education has developed between them: Mia tries to teach Koko the rhetoric and manners of the court, while Koko regularly reminds Mia that, for ordinary people, a sentence can sometimes just mean exactly what it says.
Koko’s humble origins fascinate Mia. Her clumsiness, her unfiltered emotions, and her complete lack of interest in social codes strike Mia as an exotic form of freedom.
Quote
Mia: “Koko, you can’t tell an admiral that his hat looks sad.”
Koko: “But it did look sad.”
Mia: “Yes. That’s why you tell his wife instead.”
Koko, for her part, considers it a privilege to set off for the skies with a member of the nobility—even if that noblewoman has been officially banished and fitted with a tracking device. Mia has not yet enlightened him regarding this contradiction.